Hi Men in black !

Everyone is talking about it. Well in France at least. The controversy in which no one wants to go. But everyone is talking about it…

A certain person would have heard that at the other end of the world, a rumor is spreading out that our beautiful French XV (well done guys, 0 losses, we rocks) has fielded a B team. This B team that must face the terrible army of 15 black guys in shorts.
You may say that it is not unusual when you say it like that, that there’s no need to break three legs to Damien Traille, who is already struggling to use two*. But here’s the twist, obviously. When you know that the All Blacks will be playing the revenge of several World Cups on this game, that they are waiting like mad men, and that the rugby fan has paid just under €300 (or whatever your currency is) to see the deadly clash of the apocalypse, sitting in the beautiful cold and wet New-Zealand September weather..
I agree, you got screwed.

So yes guys, you can talk all you want in your TV studio, we are fielding a B team, I do not deny it. And you know what? I don’t give a fuck! Why would we care that your silver fern XV let off steam on our strongest team? We won’t hurt our only fly half in a game that only matters for your pride, on whose we’ve been stepping for so many years. No really guys, I like New Zealand, but the only game I want to win it is Tonga. The first place ? I’ll pass. And if the award is to face the whole Tri-Nation on the final bracket, no thank you, I still prefer to get the English burden, they are a lot of fun after the game.Loved the dwarf-throwing last time by the way.

Having Parra for fly-half is a super strategy. We keep Donald Trin-Duck, our only 10, apart for the rest of the competition. And because we do not want to field Estebanez, he is well hidden (since we know that you will injury a center). That’s why we put Mermoz on the field, there is a 95% chance that he will be that one, after all, so let’s settle this once and for all with him. And additionally, we saw Rougerie’s game on the wing last week-end, so I think we lose very little. We still have Marty anyway. So we put Yachvili scrum-half, as Parra plays fly-half
As for the scrum-pillars we put the good ones, but we did not really had any choice, since there are the only ones left… Servat is put aside because it’s a bit of a totem for us, so we do want to break it before the quarter of final. On the second row is put Papé, just for fun, hopefully he will get involved with Thorn, that’ll be cool videos. Nallet is on the field because it is the only center in shape, and we’ll have to break your defense line at some point.
On the third row, we’re cool, we do not cheat, the purpose is to be not too ridiculous, it gets boring on the long run. The offensive triangle, likewise the men in shape, Clerc, the guy every mother wants for her daughter, in order to score a try, Médard for the look and Traille for the style. Yes, we’re gonna laugh, we’re here for that.

So that’s it folks. We put our B team, but we don’t care, we do as we want. But the worst thing girls, the worst thing of all that is that we will win.

And as a bonus, we’ll let speak the captain, Thierry Dusautoir who nicely summarizes the situation :
With its title: “A French farce to 460 dollars,” the Auckland daily paper accuses the French to field a B team and to have devalued a match for which the audience had to pay 460 dollars. Answering with a smile, the Dark Destroyer says : “Tell them we’re not the ones that set the ticket prices.”

Capitaine (w/Damien Try for the translation)

* “to break three legs to a duck” means “giving a damn” in French. Try to place it at your next cocktail with your bourgeois friends, you’ll look cool.